Shake Your Meme Thing

Flipsycab, Fred's newest #1 commenter, and Bet, Fred's favorite reader, have tagged me to participate in a MEME. I miss MEMEs, and wish the Friday Five would come back. Maybe I should start my own? Anyhow, you are apparently only obligated to answer only five of these, but what the hell. I'm feeling generous and verbose:

If I could be a scientist... I'd cure cancer, AIDS, and stop global warming.
If I could be a farmer... I'd have cats in the barn, rescued animals running around, and more organic produce than you could shake a stick at.
If I could be a musician... I'?d be able to earn the money to keep up the farm!
If I could be a doctor...I'd be an herbalist.
If I could be a painter...I'd paint murals.
If I could be a gardener...I'?d grow orchids.
If I could be a missionary...I'd let people make up their own minds.
If I could be a chef...I would use my own herbs and produce like Rick Bayless, but my restaurant would be all vegetarian. It would also be like this one place I went to in Bulgaria, where what's in the kitchen is what's for dinner, and everyone eats at one very long table out in the garden.
I could be an architect...I'd build houses with solar panels in the style of Frank Lloyd Wright.
If I could be a linguist...I sort of am one.
If I could be a psychologist...I would kick Freud's perverted ass.
If I could be an athlete...I'?d be a very strong, healthy vegetarian role-model for young urban kids.
If I could be a lawyer...I'd go after factory farmers and Drinky McDumbass.
If I could be an innkeeper...I'd let students stay for free if they helped tend the garden.
If I could be a professor...I'?d teach modern German lit and be proud of it.
If I could be a writer...I am one. Not that you can tell by the frequency of this blog's updates, but I do get paid to write.
If I could be a llama-rider...I just can't fathom doing that.

I tag Binky.