Billy the Nerd

The Company I Work For is a pretty faithful client of several of Microsoft's products. One of those products is actually a recent acquisition of theirs that The Company I Work For (TCIWF) has been using for years. Anyhow, as a faithful customer, a few of TCIWF's employees were invited to a big shindig they threw today to launch/advertise/generate excitement for a particular telecommunications product.

This shindig was held at the studios of NBC and took the form of a huge teleconference in four US cities and London, and was billed as an "international" conference because of it. To help them hype themselves further, Microsoft has gone and signed a deal with Mark Burnett and Donald Trump to use this product prominently on the next Apprentice. Troy, one of the likeable losers from the first Apprentice, was also on hand, making goofy remarks from time to time.

I'm not using the name of the product, by the way, because I don't want to give Microsoft any free advertising.

So this whole thing was pretty laughable. The conference started late, had numerous technical snafus, and featured a very scruffy-looking Bill Gates nerding it up. He pretended to care about the Apprentice, when it was really, really clear that he'd never watched a single moment of the show. ("Yeah, amazing show", he said in the flattest tone possible) He produced a doodle that he'd supposedly drawn with notes on it like "Remind Melinda to record 24." I mean, come on. You're Bill Gates and you don't have your TiVo set up to be remote controlled from your cell phone? "I really like TV," seemed to be the message. I guess he's going to have to watch something other than Star Trek for awhile because of the Apprentice deal.

Planted in the studio audience were Microsoft employees. Every time Bill Gates spoke they applauded. He couldn't hear or see us, but his faithful staff applauded on cue. Even when he stuttered, couldn't get his own equipment to work, and said really nerdy things, they applauded. I'm guessing this move was supposed to have the same effect as a laugh track - getting the audience enthusiastic by peer pressure and the power of suggestion.

Oh, and the whole "international" thing? Well. We saw folks from San Francisco, we heard New York but never saw them, and London? Never heard from them, never saw them. Snafu, Snafu, blue screen of death.

As much as attending this attempt at a global self-congratulatory pat on the back wasted three hours of my busy day, I have to say it was fun to watch Bill Gates and his staff sputter.