GROSS

My office is pretty thrifty about things like periodicals. So if you want to read the Wall Street Journal or Crains or American Banker or any other publication we have around here, you simply get your assistant to add you to the routing list of the existing office copy. For the daily periodicals, this works out just fine, as people tend to skim the headlines, read the one or two articles that concern them and then pass the thing on.

Today I was in the office about 15 minutes early. At this time of day, it is usually just senior management milling around. As I went to go get my coffee from the breakroom, I spy one of the Big Kahoonas of this here establishment, exiting the men's room with the WSJ under his arm.

Personally, I have never understood the need to have something else to do while sitting on the toilet. However I do understand that people, men especially, like to read with their pants around their ankles. I don't pass judgement on this fact, because I just don't get it and it isn't important in the Greater Scheme of Things. Having said that...

If you are reading your own newspaper in there, so be it. It is, however, IT IS FUCKING UNSANITARY to read said paper while taking your morning dump, and then to pass said paper on to everyone else in the office. If I wanted your stinking feces on my person, I'd be kissing your ass. Keep your bacteria to yourself.

When our group's assistant came in the office today, I asked her to take my name off of every routing list where this person's name appears. I can read this stuff online.