The Apprentice II - Episode Five

It's good to be back in the Apprentice mode. Last week was a disaster! NBC moved the show without telling me - and why? To put Drinky McDumbass on. Feh. At least there are other people with decent recaps for me to read.

Disclaimer: I'm a sick puppy this week, and I got my tired self out of bed to watch this show and blog. Be warned: this blog may be especially incoherent.

And now, I present you week five:

We start with the gang in the apartment waiting to see who was fired. "The witch is dead," Stacy R. proclaims - Jennifer C is gone. The girls began to bitch slap each other immediately... Disheartening.

In the morning, the call comes to meet Trump at UPS at 8. Trump berates the women for the bickering, fighting, and back biting. Pamela is asked to go to Apex to be the project manager because he likes and respects her. It is now men against women. Chris is the project Manager for Mosaic.

The task is to go to the headquarters of QVC in Pennsylvania to hawk a product of their choice. Luxury coaches come to pick up the teams. Pamela sets down the rules "whatever you used to do, isn't fucking working," she exclaims. She likes the F word a lot. Each woman tells Pamela what her strengths are and tells them what their tasks are, but not before lecturing them about "fucking interrupting each other". God, I love that woman. She'd better fucking win.

The men decide they seriously need to kick some ass, since if they lose, it will look like they lost because they no longer have Pamela.

The women decide to go for the "It Works" cleaning sponge...no committee used for this decision! Pamela decides the tasks. Her style is really no-nonsense, and the women have a hard time dealing with it. Stacy R. has a hard time making decisions, and responsibility was taken away from her. This made StacyR. pout.

The men decide to go for the Delonge grill. They decide to go for a pricing strategy. For the first time Raj looks like he was working, and he doesn't even have on bow tie. He and John fight. Over $70, under $70?

Just after the first commercial break, we get an update on Bill's project in Chicago. The entire Sun Times property has been purchased and is ready to be raised. Now, I live in Chicago, I see no evidence of this, but then again, this is TV. Trump throws in a, "don't disappoint me or I'll kick your ass." You know-- for effect. What a tuff guy.

Pamela picks a price, which Ivana hates, but too bad for Ivana. They decide Stacy R. is on legal detail, and Pamela decides that she is too detailed. The two fight over it. "I am giving you feedback because I want you to stop speaking..." Maria and Jenn are on Camera. Maria is HORRIBLE! She's flustered, gregarious and as Pamela said, "it looks like she's having a seizure." The women prefer Jennifer. The way chosen to convey this was over an open walkie talkie. Whoever was doing the talking on the control side didn't dot her eyes with smiley faces, and made Mara have a hissy fit.

The men of Mosaic are digging this gig. We see their live 13 minute spiel, not the practice. John is the spokesperson. Right out of the gate the product begins to tank. Four minutes remaining, a caller on QVC gives a testimonial, and the sales go up. They sell 200 units in 12 minutes when they expected to sell 800. Raj thinks it is because the price was too high.

The women of Apex put Jennifer and Maria on camera - Jennifer does most of the selling and the product flatlines. But then comes the product demo, and voila! Sales start to go up. They sell 659 units of the product and are happy with the job they do.

The moment of truth comes when the sales figures are announced. Trump comes to them via teleconference on a big screen monitor. The women sell $1,785 of their product, while the men sell $1795. The men win by $10. The women are crushed! John McEnroe and Anna Kornikova are the prize - the men get to play tennis with them. For a treat, in the future, the men will be going back to QVC to sell their product again. The men have now won four in a row.

During the tennis match, Raj tries to get Anna to go on a date with him. Naturally, he gets shot down, but she decides to play truth or dare with him. She challenges Raj that he can't return 1 of her 5 serves, and she is right. Not a single serve. Dumbass. Since he lost, he has to run around the court in his boxers. I don't get why, but he does. Anyhow, this is rather boring, until everyone else starts lobbing balls at him.

Back in the apartment, the women start to trash Pamela. The price was wrong, she is a bitch, "she wouldn't let me do my job!" Pamela misreads the whole situation. She thinks the girls LIKE her style. She thinks she's immune from getting fired because she's so good at what she does.

In the board room, Trump sympathises with Pamela, who believes she tied with the men. Boy does George tell her off! They start to argue price, and Carolyn snaps at her: "if this product were priced accordingly, it would have sold better, and you would have beat the men!" Ivana speaks up and brings up what she doesn't like about Pamela's leadership style, and everyone listens calmly. Pamela picks Stacy and Maria to join her in the board room.

George reveals that he is impressed with Pamela's leadership. Trump is unsure, she may be too strong. She doesn't listen to anybody. Carolyn decides that the task was lost because the product was priced too high, and that was Pamela's decision. Stacy lets loose with her tirade. "She wanted me to be a lawyer, but complained I was too legal!" Pamela says that she brought Maria into the board room because Maria identified herself as a specialist in public speaking, but crumbled in front of the camera. Stacy asserts that Pamela doesn't want to take any responsibilities for her mouth or her bad decisions. Trump doesn't think Pamela has a good assessment of people, and is fired. "She's decisive, and she's wrong!"

Fuck Trump, man, she was the best character in this show. I am going to miss her brassy self and her foul mouth.

And now I have to crawl back under my rock. I need to rest up for the weekend's activities, which are scheduled to include: college soccer, Indian food, and a trip to Wisconsin to see the Fall folliage. The new camera will be in tow.