Apprentice II Recap - Episode 3

Before the show begins, I’d just like to admit to you all that I watched Joey tonight. It depressed the crap out of me. This week’s Apprentice had better cheer me up.

The previews keep promising that for the first time EVER the rules are going to be broken. Such foreboding – I wonder what rule this will be? Will the Trumpster not fire someone this week? Will he take Bradford back? Ooh, the suspense is killing me!

There are 16 candidates left. Who will be fired this week?

The guys are totally pumped that Bradford got fired. They make fun of his bravado. When Apex returns to the apartment, the girls all hug each other, which is confusing, since there seems to be a lot of animosity there.

The girls have a meeting to vent – Stacie J. is all upset because all the women tried to vote her out because of her behavior during the first task. For those of you who haven’t been following, Stacie kind of freaked out under pressure.. Stacie is determined to gain their trust, but with this group of Omorosas, who knows?

The gang has to meet his Royal Trumpness in the lobby of the Trump Towers at 8 am the next morning. He introduces the gang to two Proctor and Gamble execs. This week’s task is structured around a new vanilla toothpaste (!) Each team gets $50k to market it. The team that creates the most buzz wins. “Buzz” is measured in the totally subjective approval of the P&G execs.

Kevin is the product manager for Mosaic – they brainstorm for ideas, by his suggestion. The ideas are bizarre – vanilla smell in the subways, making the river foam…. Now John comes up with a million dollar giveaway promotion – even though they only have $50k.

The girls pick as Elizabeth as Project Manager – she’s worked for P&G before and has contacts there. This is helpful, because her contacts help her get a celebrity spokesperson. They pick Mike Piazta, catcher for the Mets. Mike agrees to brush his teeth in public for the promotion.

The men look for someone to underwrite the insurance policy for the million-dollar giveaway. They pick DeVries.

Stacie J. is asked to go pick up the 834 cases of toothpaste to pick up for their promotion. The boxes take up ½ a warehouse – far too much for the van she’d taken to pick them up. This is a case of poor planning. Jennifer is along with her for the ride, and offers no support, but heaps of criticism. Back at the apartment, the women create a flier. They are crunched for time, because the printer wouldn’t give them a price for the piece until 7 am.

The men are crushed late in the night – DeVries won’t underwrite the $1 million giveaway. They decide it is too much of a liability. The boys are screwed. Much moping and head holding ensues. They decide to give away $5k instead. They stage a circus on the street, announcing the toothpaste and handing out samples. There were jugglers, girls in feathers, and clowns on stilts. The winner gets his check on the spot. Damn, where was I?

The girls stage an outdoor event at Union Square featuring their celebrity. He said he’s been using Crest for his whole life, and he’s never had a cavity in his life. He brushes in public with the vanilla mint toothpaste amidst hooting and hollering from the crowd. He claimed to love the stuff, but his face showed otherwise. He signed flyers and boxes of Crest, and the crowd was happy!

Unfortunately for Apex, they are seriously over budget. $5k. The negotiations with the printer were unclear, and were well over what they’d budgeted.

The P&G folks give both teams glowing reviews. The project leader, Elizabeth is in hot doodoo, because she didn’t know the team was over budget until it was too late. The boys are victorious because they stayed within their budget. As a prize, Trump gives the men a trip on the Queen Mary II for dinner.

The true winner of this contest is of course, P&G. Not only did they get two teams on one day run two promotions to hype their gross toothpaste all over New York City, but they also got a 60-minute commercial on prime time TV about it.

The girls cry over their loss. Jennifer blames Maria for making an unclear deal with the printer. They have a big catfight. Jennifer states her case in front of Trump, and Maria denies it. George opens his mouth for once and actually yells at Maria. Stacie J. believes they should fire Elizabeth. The other Stacy wants to fire Stacy J. So does Ivana. Elizabeth has a choice to bring either two or three people into the boardroom, and she decides to bring in Maria and Stacie J.

Catherine wants to fire both. George hates Maria and her money issues. Trump wants to know why Ivana isn’t in the room, since she was supposed to keep track of the budget. Maria confesses as to why everyone is out to fire Stacie J. Trump decides that this is so important to the competition that he wants the entire Apex team the room to discuss Stacie J and her supposed craziness. Is this the unprecedented breaking of the rules?

As the women reassemble, Trump announces that Elizabeth stinks as a leader and that Maria is horrible for going over budget. But he’s ready to hear about Stacie J’s personality. Everyone says that Stacie’s 8-ball episode is the “most frightening” experience of their lives. I don’t get this; I’d like to see the whole episode myself. Trump decides she’s a loose cannon and fires her. Where is the monumental shock in that? Stupid hype.

Fifteen minutes of edited boardroom coverage will be shown on Saturday’s re-airing of the show. I may have to watch this. The editing on this weeks show was so poor that I just didn’t follow the episode completely. For example, the girls did a lot of bitching that Stacie J.’s mistakes in this task caused Elizabeth a lot more work. None of this was actually broadcasted except Stacie being confronted with 800+ boxes of product and three minutes to load it into a truck. They just tried to pack too much into too little time this week, and I was lost in the process.

Oh, and I'm not cheered up, either.