Apprentice Recap - Episode II

So the recap of the second episode of the Apprentice II is a little late. I had a business trip last week that prevented me from viewing the show until now. But never fear, the review of the second episode is finally here!

Seventeen candidates are left. We rejoin the show with Apex group wondering who will be fired. They generally expect it to be Andy – he may have a Harvard degree, but he is also very young. Everyone jumps for joy when they learn that Rob was fired. Much red wine drinking ensues. Hell, they even toast Rob.

Ivana and Maria waste no time in dissing Bradford, who, if you remember, was the Apex’s project manager for the first job. “Bradford is clearly the weakest link of them all – the fact that he’s protected… Don’t even get me started.”

At five in the morning, the call comes to meet the Donald at 8. We watch the group primp, agonize over shoe choices, iron, and attack each other. “I don’t want to be friends with any of these women”, says Stacy J. I don’t think any of these women want to make friends with anyone. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

This week’s task is ice cream, more specifically Trump Ice Cream Parlor. The teams have to develop and market their own new flavor of ice cream. How fun! The team that makes the most money wins. They are working with gelato maker Ciao Bella.

The first task is picking a leader. Mosaic picks names out of a bowl, and Kelly wins. Pam hates his authoritativeness, but that’s too bad for her. I guess Kelly was in the military. They break into two groups – Sales and Flavor development and are surprisingly well-organized.

Apex does the brainstorming thing again. Do all women like to manage by committee? I am one, and I like committees, but I’m not always forming them. Anyhow, annoying Ivana breaks into a boring lecture of economics. She’s nominated as project manager. She wants to be known as “the listener.” They start discussing flavors right away.

At this point, I realize that they show that insipid rap commercial for Boost Mobile at every commercial break. I’m so glad I taped this. Fast-forwarding through the commercials gives me an enormous feeling of well being.

Mosaic starts making phone calls announcing the new product and inviting customers to have the ice cream delivered right away. They get hung up on a lot. It doesn’t look good for the boys.

The women take off to Ciao Bella for a brain storming session. Ivana, the leader, suggests such gems as “butter”, “mascarpone”, and “bloody Mary”. They end up with a bazillion flavors and waste a ton of time.

The men decide to go for chocolate and vanilla ice creams with donut in it. It sounded too expensive to them at first, but they decide to go for it. They need to buy 400 donuts for this project, and they have ½ an hour to get them. Chris is proud of making children cry. You know, thank goodness for is group that Dunkin Donuts is open on every other corner of NYC.

At the same time, the women still hadn’t picked a flavor, and at the last moment, they go for Red Velvet cake. All of the ingredients are thankfully in house. Apex goes forth trying to sell their ice cream. Stacie J wants to hire temps to help sell the ice cream, and she’s treated like a maverick. She’s in trouble, poor girl.

Quote of the show, “You could put dog feces in that ice cream and it would taste good” – Pamela.

Mosaic’s sales team under Wes was failing miserably. They decide to say that the proceeds of the sales would go to a charity. They select Leukemia. I don’t know if this is a lie or not. However, they are smart enough to pick their station as Toys R Us. Good place to sell ice cream. The stupid thing is, they go back to the apartment and reveal their own plan. It makes the girls decide to cancel the appointments they have at restaurants, and go to the TKTS booth in Times Square.

The next day, men decide to start selling ice cream at 8. They decide to all wear bow ties to look like old-time ice cream vendors. Raj had 12 bow ties with him to share with the group. I knew he had a reason for being on the show! John decides that everyone should sacrifice for the good of the team and skip eating all day. Raj freaks out, claiming to be hypoglycemic. “I wanna eat breakfast!” Kelly decides to lend everyone money for food and boy did that piss John off. Too bad. The men eat ice cream, which they sell for $5 a scoop. They call the stuff “breakfast ice cream.”

Bradford decides to be the resident cheerleader and pimp, trying to get the girls to “whore it up”. The girls didn’t like that idea. They sell their red velvet ice cream. They get busted by some Pakistani vendor for not having a permit. They decide to move. Watching women in stilettos move a heavy ice cream cart is funny. The second cart seems to be lost for awhile. They claim to be on 7^th Avenue, but alas, they were on Broadway. This costs the team a lot on time.

Meanwhile, the guys are doing great – women are volunteering to help scoop the ice cream. One woman lets them pimp kisses from her for those who buy. She leaves early, smart girl. The girls finally start selling, and the ice cream starts to sell like ice cream goes.

And this is where my tape ends. I guess I should rewind the tape before trying to record a 90-minute show. According to the official web site, the woman are defeated, and Bradford is fired. Why?

“Then Bradford spoke up. He said that he was so confident in his performance, that he would be willing to wave his exemption. Trump accepted the offer but told Bradford that it was a "stupid" move.”

So Ivana, crappy leader she is, gets to stay on, because Bradford is impulsive. Oohh that Trump. His genius … his vision… his comb over!

Stay tuned for this week’s Apprentice II recap – on time!