The Apprentice II, Episode 12

Welcome to a rip-roaringly exciting Thanksgiving edition of The Apprentice. What’s so damned exciting? I’ll tell you. I discovered that Silk makes vegan eggnog, and that it goes really great with rum! And I thought the start of my least-favorite time of year was going to be depressing.

Six candidates are left. Who will be fired this week?

The show starts with the gang in the apartment cooking dinner. Jennifer’s money was on Wes being returning. Andy comes back with the news, and everyone is shell-shocked. Andy is a stuttering fool. Sandy announces that it is time to “break out of the pack”. Sandy is the only one in the room without a college education. Ivana and Jennifer argue about who is going to be the next PM. Kelly also wants to be PM. They decide to draw names from a hat; Kelly is the team leader for Apex. Ivana badmouths Jenn over and over. Kelly is also discussing how he dislikes Jennifer. He wants to send her over to Mosaic if possible.

The call comes to meet Trump at 9 the next morning at Trump Place. Andy declares that it is he against Kevin, and since Kevin is “Old” he’s in trouble. I just decided not to like Andy.

Apex is told to jettison a team player, and of course they decide to get rid of Jenn. After a commercial for Trump Place, (It’s Trump’s show, I guess he should be allowed to hawk his own shit,) we get to business. The gang is sent to Pepsi’s headquarters in Westchester to design packaging for Pepsi Edge. The team with the best product design wins.

Jenn is glad to get out of Apex. Mosaic seems oddly glad to have her. Ivana the bitch is so happy to get rid of Jenn. “I felt like I have had a big Barbie taken off of my shoulders”.

This week, Trump’s warm and fuzzy, and oh-so-helpful message is “Form Your Own Opinion”. We see Trump in his own boardroom, asking for a vote, but then making up his own mind.

Pepsi Edge is somehow a diet soda that has better flavor. Mosaic comes up with a game. Andy is drinking Pepsi like crazy, and is really caffeinated. Sandy thinks he’s being immature.

Apex begins brainstorming about bottle shape. Ivana comes up with a stupid idea about making the bottle look like an Oscar. Ivana begins to get silly. “Let’s make something that looks like a boob.” They decide to make a bottle that looks like the word “Edge”.

Mosaic is still in the product stage. They are thinking of making a roundish bottle. A completely round bottle, like Sandy wanted, would be hard to hold. This frustrates her.

Apex is having problems with their letter bottle, with a hole all the way through the bottle. The designer doesn’t think it will work, but he decides to give it a try.

Mosaic is still working. Andy decides to bribe Pepsi designers by giving the $100, thinking this will get them to work faster. The employees look annoyed. Caroline looks outraged.

Everyone is hungry, and pizza is ordered, but Andy won’t let the food come in until the design is done. I think this is Andy’s week to get booted off.

The commercial comes just in time for me to heat some more Silknog!

Apex’s bottle looks fantastic. Mosaic is still working. Only the D and the E of the word “edge” are cut out in the bottle.

Andy is fervently discussing how he wants to win over Wes: “We have to take this man down!”

Apex is the first to present, in front of an auditorium full of people. Big surprise to them. The whole team takes turns speaking. “Get the edge, check the box” – see, because instead of thinking outside of the box, they’ve put the box in the bottle…. Dunno. But it looks cool.

Mosaic comes in, Andy is obviously nervous. “Pepsi edge, it is not diet, not regular, it is the best of both worlds” It has the globe split in two. The top is the compass. Sandy is having problems with her presentation. She’s too nervous. She had difficulty explaining the game. They come through with promotions, artwork… so much more work than Apex.

Mosaic’s globe design goes down like a lead weight. Trump is called, both teams are praised, but Apex is declared the winner. The prize is to go on Trump’s helicopter to go to the Pocono’s race track.. Now I understand that they get to race Lamborghinis, but I just think this is a dumb prize. The gang seemed happy though. Give me the car; I’ll smile for you, but just a test drive around a track? Feh.

And in the commercial break – a commercial for Pepsi Edge! But it was in a can, not in Apex’s bottle. In any case, I guess a 60-minute commercial wasn’t enough for them. They needed 30 seconds more.

Mosaic is slumming around the apartment. Ivana is whispering to Andy about how nasty Jenn is in the boardroom, and how she kisses up to the PM. Now Andy tells Jenn this. He thinks Jenn did a better job than Sandy. He devises a plan with Jenn, and they shake hands. Sandy starts dishing about Andy, how he is inexperienced and over excited. She thinks he’s in trouble. So do I.

Mosaic parades into the boardroom, and Trump asks who is the designer of the bottle. Andy fesses up to it. George lays into Andy, Carline laughs. George says the bottle reeks of geography, which isn’t cool. Andy says that the least creative person on the team was Sandy. Sandy totally disagrees, and they fight. She brings up all the things she contributed, and Andy and Jenn take credit for the work. Andy says that Jennifer is smarter and Sandy is harder to manage.

Sandy said she thinks Andy is immature. Caroline brings up the cash incentives. No big discussion ensued about this. Surprising, really.

Jennifer defends Andy when asked about the job he did, and Trump & Co. look skeptical. Andy and Sandy continue to argue. Andy maintains that he has a reputation for “giving credit where credit is due”. Sandy defends her sudden reputation of being creative. “Losing is a bitch,” says Trump. “You all got along until you lost, and how you are at each other’s throats. I see this a lot in business, and it is sad.” Trump tells everyone to leave, because they are all coming back to the boardroom.

During the commercial, I am depressed to learn that Franz Ferdinand has already sold out. A song of theirs is being used to advertise Saab. Sigh

Back in the boardroom., George says he likes the way Sandy defends herself. Caroline questions Jenn, how does it always happen that the PM defends her? Outside, the group is fighting. Sandy wants to know how the other two will sleep knowing they lied so much.

They are called back in. The real excitement begins. “Jennifer, how come you keep sliding by, barely?” says Trump. “Because I think my PMs think I work really hard for them.” Jenn and Sandy begin to fight. Jenn spills about her conversation with Andy after the conversation with Ivana. This is Andy’s undoing. A HUGE argument ensues. Sandy realizes that Andy had told Jenn she was being picked before they all walked into the boardroom. Because the girls were so loud and so ornery and out arguing Andy, Trump fires him. It is going to be interesting to see how Jenn and Sandy manage to get along in the morning. Andy is a gentleman. He stays behind to thank Trump for the opportunity. Good bye little man!