Code Orange

Oh my -- I've just realized that I am in great danger. I don't know how long this has been going on, because I tend to ignore things like this. But it is a bad, bad thing, and I wish it would just go away. If I were Catholic, I'd be fingering that rosary and going to confession and gulping vats of holy water.

It is such a big deal that I think I'll need strong meds to deal with the anxiety, the cold sweats...

The problem is this: I have a crush on a boy.

When I say it like that, it isn't such a bad sounding thing, I mean, how cute, right? Well, see I'm a real, grown-up adult type, and well, this boy is actually an adult too, or at least as grown-up as little boys ever get to be. And he's a co-worker. He's a really hott co-worker - a foreign born one - thank God he's not my favorite flavor, because I'd be a goner. Either way, this is bad. Really bad.

I only just came to the realization that I like-like this guy a few days ago. Unfortunately, my meddling and secretary happened to notice that whenever said co-worker came around and started talking to me, I blush. I am WAY not a blusher. Nothing makes me turn red, except, well, when I have a big, fat, honking crush. So Ms. Meddler, who by the way past "a certain age," set off on a mission, unbeknownst to me, to find out if said hott co-worker like-likes me. I don't know how she got this information, like if she passed notes in the hallway, or put on a certain color plastic bracelet, but she came to me with the news today, that I have a chance with this shy, reserved, but undoubtedly male of the species.

Now I don't know if that means he like-likes me, or what, but it is enough to panic over. Like-like + definite interest tends to add up to dating, and dating is a fucking catastrophe. It is really important for me to stay away from actual, serious relationships. It's like running with scissors or playing with a ball in the house.

What did I do with that cootie spray?