Five guaranteed ways to piss me off at work:

1. Touch my monitor with your greasy fingers, over and over again.

2. Call me up and don't offer any kind of greeting - just start talking. Don't even bother to identify yourself.

3. Leave uneaten fruit on your desk for an entire week and wonder aloud where all the fruit flies are coming from.

4. When it is clearly entered into the group calendar that I will be 40 minutes late, greet me at my desk when I get in, late as planned with, "Good Morning! How nice of you to show up!"

5. Sit down in my cube and put papers in front of me while I am clearly eating my lunch.