People I know who could use a good kick in the ass .

1. My siblings - both of them

2. The guy who sits outside of the Noble Fool theater on Randolph with the fake cast. He's been out there for at least four years now. He doesn't even ask for money anymore. He has a hat on the ground, and just sits there whenever the ground is dry. His cast is dirty and is obviously even not attached to his foot. He chain smokes, and he probably earns more a day than I do.

3. "White Trash in a Suit". He's the guy who is responsible for giving me a merit raise of .26%. Yes, you read that right - POINT two six percent. He shouldn't have, really.

4. The former owner of the Condo. He did some odd things to this place, and hid some really nasty plumbing problems.

5. The CEO of SBC Communications. No, I don't know him personally, but he sure needs a kick in the tuchas.