Community Lovin'

This evening I went to my very first community meeting as president of my condo association. I was kind of dreading it, figuring that there were only going to be a handful of dried up boring people or a few snotty trixies. I couldn't have been more wrong. This meeting was a three ring circus complete with side shows.

First off, there was a good mix of people. Some folks my age, some older. A couple from my condo showed up too, which was good. This way, I had someone to make faces at.

The Alderman showed up, and let me tell you, he makes no bones about the fact that he is the Governor's father-in-law. Alderman Mel is exactly what you would expect from a Chicago politician - slicker than oil, smooth as a wet slug, and crass. At the beginning of the meeting, he tried very hard to keep it clean - you could see his mouth beginning the "F" word, and he'd catch himself and say "dern", but by the end of the evening, he was peppering his sentences with some really colorful language.

The conversation stayed on topic for about 10 minutes - we were discussing ways to improve the drainage on the little strips of land between the sidewalks and the streets, and how to get people to stop parking their cars on the grass. This quickly evolved to a discussion of people using a particular street as a speedway, tree removal, beautification projects, stop signs, speed bumps, property tax increase, refuse hauling.. you name it. It was a total free-for-all. People were shouting out suggestions right and left, the police at one point flat out admitted that they are not equipped with radar guns. That's right, boys and girls, you can speed through the 17th district, and you won't get a ticket that holds up in court.

The guy from IDOT (Illinois Department of Transportation) was holding up aerials of the area pointing out the proposed changes and yelling over the police officer, who was freaking out over the possibility of having to endure the installation of speed bumps, and all the while, an older, cranky woman kept saying, "fuck that, don't tear down my trees!" Center stage you have the Alderman, who at some point in the evening, had abandoned the original topic of the meeting, and started lobbying for a casino downtown.

One woman started arguing from the Communist Manifesto, another was bitching about parades, "I hate them, let all those pride people and those foreigners go downtown to demonstrate where they can be properly ignored." And me? I was laughing my ass off trying to take notes. Tears are running down my face, and my shoulders started to shudder. Just when I thought I couldn't hold it in any longer, some middle aged, very blue collar and down to earth looking guy looks at me with that look of understanding and it was too late for both of us. And as hard as we were laughing, nobody seemed to notice.

Now get this - at the end of the evening, we managed to come up with a plan for the parking and the drainage. Sure, it is going to have to wait until the spring, but we came up with a decision. I don't know how it happened, but it did.

And that, my friends, is politics in Chicago.