Gross

A train story
 
Today, when I was sitting on the Brown Line on my way home, I woke up from my nap to see a guy sitting in front of me on one of the sideways-facing seats. He was balding, longish curly hair, nappy mustache and an button-down shirt that was open half way. This was no ordinary button-down shirt. It revealed a copious amount of chest hair - the kind that would make Austin Powers proud.
 
I haven't even gotten to the gross part of the story yet.
 
 So the guy was sitting there, grooming his chest. Like an ape, this hairy guy was preening his chest hair with his fingers. I closed my eyes and decided I was having hallucinations due to an episode of motion sickness...but no... when I opened my eyes again, he was not only combing with his fingers, he was putting in his MOUTH some sort of debris or whatever he'd picked out of there. He did it more than once.
 
Luckily, I got over the trainwreck syndrome really fast and closed my eyes again.