A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

As I was watching TV this evening, I saw a commercial for Wickes Furniture - the store I bought the fabulous red couch in. They are having a big sale on last year's furniture, and they are showing all the furniture they are selling, including the fabulous red couch.

I hate this.

I hate that my couch is on TV.

I hate that my couch is on TV with other people sitting on it.

I hate that my couch is on TV with other people sitting on it who look like they want to OWN it.

I hate that my couch is on TV with other people sitting on it who look like thay want to OWN it, and who also appear to be trailor trash.

The fabulous red couch is mine. You cannot have it.

The end.