The world has been especially cruel of late.

See, I thought I was being SO good about putting money aside, saving as many of my pennies, nickles and dimes from my monthly paycheck as possible. Even in this horrible economy with its ultra low interest rates, I was managing to do a nice job. I'm saving for a downpayment on a condo that I hope to buy within the next 6 months.

Yeah, I had a nice little nest egg growing until yesterday when I went to the dentist. Silly me. I thought that since I now have dental insurance (for the first time since leaving Europe) I could afford to go and have my mouth looked at. After all, Blue Cross Blue Shield pays for the appointment and the cleaning AND the x-rays. Well, those bastards get the last laugh.

I felt optimistic when the "scraping" part of the ordeal lasted under 5 minutes. I was positively elated when the dentist praised me for the care I was obviously giving my teeth (I brush, AND floss, thank you) But when Dr. G came around, lifted up his super-magnifying-glasses and rested his hand on my shoulder, I knew I was in trouble. Unfortunately, the fillings I got when I was a kid are silver and very deteriorated. I need to have 5 fillings replaced. $CHING$! BC/BS only pays for 80% of there. I was assured this wouldn't be more than $200 out of pocket. Then Dr. G takes a deep breath and pats that shoulder he is leaning on. He informs me that I have a cracked molar and an improperly capped tooth (he used his little pointy metal thing to show me it was made too big for my tooth) which both need new crowns. New porcelain and gold crowns. These babies cost $850 a pop.

Of course I start hyperventilating at this point, because I am seeing my mortgage payment rise as my downpayment gets smaller and smaller. (Dr. G offered me something to take the edge off, but not only because the sticker shock, but also because I get incredibly tense at the dentist - I didn't take it, but I should have. BC/BS covers that at 100%). Something told me that the insurance wasn't going to cover this enormous sum, so when I got home, I called BC/BS to inquire as to the percent covered. They cover 50%. "You get two for the price of one!" the snothead insurance dude said, as if this was supposed to make me feel better.

Then I asked him he thought the price quoted to me was fair, and Mr. Snothead said, " well, yeah, it is in the realm of possibility" - which I totally didn't get. So I asked him if there was some other kind of suplemental insurance I could buy, thinking ahead to the three wisdom teeth I have to have extracted from my jawbones. "Well", he said, "you could try taking better care of your teeth". I was sure I misunderstood him, so I asked him to repeat himself. "No, really, if you took better care of your teeth, you wouldn't have to get crowns in the first place". Did I defend myself? No! Did I hang up on him? NO! What did I do? I whined. "But my dentist SAID I take good care of my teeth!". And Mr. Snothead? He said "whatever, ok, so do you have any questions for me that I actually have a shot of answering?"

At this point I got my spine back from where ever it was and asked him for his name and his supervisor's extension. Sorry pal, you don't talk to your customers like that.

So, the moral of the story is, I am going to shell out $1000 for my mouth in the next few weeks. Why is it that everything medical has to cost so damned much? I know medical school is timely and costly, but GEEZ!

OH! One more thing Dr. G. said ... and I asked him to write it down and sign it for me. "You have a small mouth". Yup, he said that. Take THAT grammar school teachers.