Invitation Consternation

Today I was asked to write an invitation to the holiday party that the TheCompanyIWorkFor®* throws every year. I was asked to remember that as the company has had a particularly difficult year, morale has been at an all-time low. It was suggested that I write something "clever and peppy".

I sat and I thought and contrived. This wasn't an easy task. I mean, you try exciting 450 disgruntled and downtrodden individuals into coming to a corporate function after work. The only thing that is going to motivate these people is the open bar.

With all the work I put into this, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why my boss rejected the following:

Poor morale?
Alienated by management?
Rejuvination is easy!
Try Jägermeister!
Yummy!

Please join us for the annual holiday event with a cornicopia of culinary delights from local chefs and a top-shelf open bar.

*TheCompanyIWorkFor is a registered trademark of Betland