This has been a hell of a week. Between having some B.S. virus and having to work late despite wanting to die, I just haven't had the time to blog.

Since most of my time has been spent in the most boring of fashion, I will relate a little story to you. This actually happened to me about two weeks ago. I was going to keep it off the blog, even though it does have a lot of entertainment value, because, well, this story, while short, is just plain strange. However, when I told the following to Joe and Todd, they were both emphatic about seeing this online. So here we go.

One evening I was heading home from downtown on the El. It was a weeknight at around 8.30 or so. There weren't too many people on the train at that time, so at first I had the car about to myself, with maybe one or two other people clear on the other side of the car. At the next stop, a very beautiful, tall, muscular man comes over and sits next to me. Ordinarily, I wouldn't think twice about this. However, there were maybe 20 other sets of free seats in the car. There is no real reason he should have sat next to me. But whatever, I didn't say anything.

On the ride north, I had my MD player on, and I was looking out the window listening to my music. I'd mostly forgotten about the guy sitting next to me, until I saw him move out of the corner of my eye. I was only half paying attention, and I don't know what I would have done if I'd been able to tell beforehand what he was up to.

In one fluid motion, he bent over as if he were going to tie his shoe, he kissed my foot , right above the toes, and headed out the door.

Of course I was surprised by this. While I have told many a person to kiss my ass, I never once expected anyone to kiss my feet. I mean, let's face it -- feet are ugly. They are disgusting things, and mine are the poster children for nasty and disgusting. I don't get pedicures, and my feet are all scarred from past injuries. I don't wear the cute strappy trixie sandals in the summer, no. I wear Birkenstocks: the kind with the two thick straps in the front. There is nothing sexy going on beneath my ankle bones.

Since the guy was out the door in two seconds flat, I didn't have time to kick him, or say anything to him.

At this point in the story, there is nothing more to say besides: "EWWWWWWWWWWW".