The following blog was actually supposed to happen yesterday. I wrote it at work -- but since I can't post to blogger from the office, I emailed it to myself for posting later in the day. Unfortunately, TheCompanyIWorkFor (to borrow a phrase from Bet) has had some "exploding server" issues, and my mail didn't go out.

This post, in honor of all the kiddies going back to school today (yesterday) who have to write about their summer vacations, is called, "How I spent My Tuesday, sorry this can't be more interesting but working stiffs don't GET a nine week summer vacation. -or- "Hey brats! Study up. This is what you have to look forward to!"

7:40 Arrive in the building, decide to go for Coffee, stop at Starbucks. Opt for the Soy Latte, since I ve been having problems with the whole lactose intolerance thing. Find out that the price of a soy latte is 44 cents more than a regular latte. Complain about discrimination, get nowhere.

7:50 Arrive in the office, walk to my cube - the one I now share with my boss until our new office space is ready. Find him looking at SPAM of women engaging in oral sex with each other. Remember former pocket pool playing boss and his " if you want to get anywhere in this company you should learn to be more friendly" predecessor, and make a mental note to remind my grandmother of this the next time she asks me why I don 't date.

8:10 Upon returning from the kitchen, receive a dirty look from a colleague who wanted to have a private conversation with my boss. Pity she cant ask me to leave my own desk. Colleague begins to speak in some odd code. Repress the urge to tell the self-important bitch that I already know what the bombshell news of the day is, and that she can quit whispering.

8:37 Begin first menial task of the day - covering for the secretary, because she cannot learn to use the Mail Merge function in Word to save her life

9:00 Attend 45 minute meeting about things only vaguely related to my job.

10.15 Break yet another set of headphones. Can ' t stand the BS and the chatter. Run down stairs to CVS to purchase the 110th pair this year.

10.30 Plug in, listen to various tunes saved to my hard drive. Resume menial labor.

12:15 Lunch break. Venture across the street to pay mortgage and attempt to sign up for WaMu to zap the money out every month for me. This particular branch has only been open for a couple of days - argue with the Bank that they do indeed zap money out every month - prove this by producing brochure. Leave mission ½ completed. Return the headphones I bought today back to CVS. They are crap. Purchase new ones at Borders. They are comfy, good sound. Make a detour to buy a new purse (50% off).

1:30 Slink back into office 15 minutes late. Nobody notices. Balance checkbook. Get homemade lunch from fridge. Heat in microwave, eat while reading Stennie's blog and CNN. Finish menial labor.

2:00 Begin doing own work. Website updates. Begin month-end August reporting. Graphs fucking up again, vow to replace Microsoft software with something reliable.

2:30 Herded like sheep to the "Annual Budget Kickoff Meeting!!!" Despite the use of exclamation points, fight sleep.

3:30 Done with meeting, one hour left to go in the day. Think about what can I do that won't take more than ONE hour to complete. Email Julie, Email Bev. Julie again.

3.44 Work on publication due next week. More unprovoked sexist remarks from the boss regarding the Victoria' s Secret catalog. Conversation about explicit porn/toy catalogue ensues with other colleags stopping by to listen. Although I have my headphones on loud, I can hear every word. My boss is really excited that they opened a new store that sells articles from the above mentioned catalog. He is hoping that he can get his wife to go in there.

3:52 Get summoned by EVP to do some accounting work. Does he not understand that math means nothing to me? Schedule meetings with accountants and auditors for tomorrow, get in argument with Boss about whether or not I should start those CPA classes.

4.20 Start closing down the computer and winding down the day. Any effort past quitting time is not warranted today.