Wither Weather?

Some remarks before getting down to the topic at hand:

Today, my weatherpixie and Bet's weatherpixie are wearing the same outfit. I sense there is a conspiracy afoot, but do not understand these goings on.

I took a surf over to The Bitterspice Project and found that our dear Bitterspice has moved the Five Second Theater to the weekends, so that working stiffs like me, who can't read weblogs during the day anymore, can play. Only problem is, I can't figure this game out for the life of me.

Is that first part that William says supposed to be the entire first line of my drama, or am I supposed to break it up? Either way, I am trying to think of a good play, and I encourage you to do the same.

The blog about the weather begins now:

It is supposed to storm here in Chicago - or says weather.com. They are calling for "strong storms", but don't give much detail. They've also lowered the chances of storms to 50%. What is that supposed to mean? TV and radio are of course, freaking out at the prospect of these storms - as they always do. But from the frenzied pitch of their wailing, I am going to guess that we won't get more than the dark cloud coverage and really muggy weather that we've had all day. It happens like that. The more upset the weather folks on the TV get, the less likely we are to get said storm. And the National Weather Service? They give me this complicated mess as a weather report. Check it out - it reads just like the Bible - you can read anything at all into it. It might rain, it might not rain, the world might end in a cataclysmic storm brought on by the Suppreme Court's recent decision on sodomy, or it might not.

And of course, this past Thursday when we had several tornadoes and some really big, nasty lightening storms, the weather folks said we could get a little drizzle, (chance of precipitation was between 10-20%) but otherwise predicted a lovely evening.

My dad used to say that he wished he could have a job where he was wrong over 50% of the time. Now I think he was missing the point. I don't think these meteorologists are even in the business of predicting the weather. I think they are there to get us to freak out and tune in to the news. Why else would they put the weather last? They don't know what they are talking about any more than my grandmother and her arthritic knee that hurts when it is supposed to rain - but we tune in anyhow, because we need to feel prepared.

And somehow, I think the weatherpixies are involved. I know they only report current conditions, but they do know something.