Last night I caught Aimee Mann’s show at the Riviera. Unfortunately, the Riv had the balcony open and assigned seats. I’d never been subject to that before in this particular venue, and I have to say, it sucked mightily.

First of all, the seats aren’t in any discernable order and we never did find an usher. There are numbers on the backs of the seats, on the arms of the seats, and on the floor. None of these numbers match. So our seats, Row H seats 7, 8 and 9, seem to have been next to seats number 1 and 2. Oh, and these seats? Wide enough for some American girth, but no legroom whatsoever! So all those chicks with their high healed boots, and all the tall people were really uncomfortable.

Lil’ old me in my Mary Jane Birkenstocks had no problem sitting down, but unfortunately the stiletto wearing Amazon next to me, and glandular freak behind me didn’t have enough room and so encroached on my personal space. This led to me sneaking some of R’s knee room, and R stealing some of M’s leg room, which led to an entire domino effect in our row. I’m guessing we all had the same leg cramps today.

Anyhow, we settled in our seats 1/2 hour early, as any respectable concert goer would - decent seats with me at the aisle. Fifteen minutes into the show is when the Amazon and her date showed up, demanding that we were in their seats. We argued and argued, since we were happy where we were, and besides, they'd come late. But the usher finally appeared, and while he didn't know which seat belong to whom, he asked us to just scoot down a couple of seats.

This pissed R of to no end. I was none to pleased myself, but scoot we did. R began to scheme as to how we could get even with the Amazon. She came up with using her chewing gum. Luckily, I was between them, so the gum never landed in her hair. But when she got up half way during the show to use the bathroom, R got a gleam in her eye and spit out her gum. She couldn't reach the Amazon's seat, so I placed her gum (yes, the germaphobe touched someone else's gum!) on the seat for her. Unfortunately, the Date of the Amazon realized it was there just as she was about to sit down again. He actually asked me if it was my gum! Now I was honestly able to tell him that the gum did not belong to me - I mean, he just asked the wrong question, you know? Being a good citizen, he rolled it up in his napkin and put it in his empty cup.

The Riv does have one thing going for it - it has waiters. Yup friends and neighbors, the bar comes to you! Their gin and tonics are also quite tasty.

The sound at the Riv was very, very crappy. The vocals were just too quiet, which is a pity, because Aimee’s voice is well worth hearing.

Her band is really tight – they sound fantastic. And Aimee, when I could hear her, was in great form. The set consisted mostly of Lost in Space – her new album, but sampled from her last two albums now and then.

She didn’t do much talking – but she did manage to admit several times that her songs can be rather depressing, and that the guy on lead guitar had worn an ascot the night before, making him look like Charles Nelson Riley.

Aimee Mann has a potty mouth. I lost count of how many times she said “fuck”. My favorite instance of this word is when she was pelted with multiple requests for Voices Carry. “You don’t even wanna hear that fucking song” she told us. “You’re just fucking with me”. When the requests were still coming in a few songs later, she acquiesced, saying, “Ok, I’m gonna play the fucking song, and you’re gonna fucking like it!”

Her sense of humor (aye, it exists!) came out when the crowd started yelling “FREEBIRD”!! (Does this happen in other cities, or is this a Chicago thing?) She said her band didn’t know the song, but as the keyboardist started the opening riff, she laughed and said she’d try. She got the first 4-5 words right, but then started inventing her own – something about a hot girl on a bus.

Highlights of the evening? That’s Just What You Are – complete with 3 false starts due to technical problems, The Moth – her opening number, Save Me and, well, Freebird.

Despite it all, the show was decent, but I would have preferred another venue, such as the Park West.