Good lord some people are stupid.

Some guy bearing nasty smelling Greek food (I hate, HATE the smell of lamb) has been bothering me for about the last 20 minutes. The first time he asked me if I'd ordered food. I told him that I had not, and looking confused, he walked away.

About two minutes later he knocked again. I ignored him, so he knocked louder. So I opened the door again. He asked me if I knew who had ordered the food. Now, I live in a city of over 4 million people. How am I supposed to know the price of tea in China? So I asked him the address - it turned out to be the person who lived across the hall from me, and I told him as much. I closed the door again.

I hear him banging on my neighbor's door. Then I hear him banging on my door. I completely lost my patience. I HATE surprise visits, especially from strangers. So I opened the door and just grunted (rather rudely I'll admit) "what?!". He wanted to know if any other building on the street had the same address as mine.

I had to think about that one.

I thought maybe I'd misunderstood him, so I asked him to repeat himself. He asked the same baffling question. So I let him in on the secret about street addresses and how they are different on purpose so that the postal carrier and everyone else can tell one residence from the next. I'll be damned if the boy didn't bat an eye. Then he asked me if he could come inside and use my phone. "No way" I told him, " I'm not letting you in my apartment" - and I began wondering how he even got in the building in the first place. I had heard the buzzer, so I knew someone had let him in.

He looked so dejected and confused and had that constipated "I'm gonna cry" look - so I handed him my cordless phone - forgetting of course that I was online. He then told me that I need to get off line. I just gave him the "are you fucking nuts?!" look, and then he got upset. "What are they doing in there? Sleeping?". That was all I could take. I told him that he would have to figure out this bit of rocket science himself and closed the door.

He is still in the building, I can hear him arguing with my neighbor's door. "Who does this kind of thing? Ordering food and then leaving or whatever". And all the while, the rank smell of a cooked dead lamb fills my living quarters.

PS. Please extend a warm welcome to East Timor!